"Ladies, this is the final rose tonight. Sean, when you're ready."
And the final rose goes to...........................................................................................
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Chris Harrison.
Wait, what?
Oh yes, the insufferable host. Yes, Chris Harrison, WE, THE VIEWERS, CAN SEE THAT THERE IS ONE ROSE LEFT. HAD YOU NOT MENTIONED THAT, HOW WOULD I HAVE GONE ON WITH MY LIFE?! I swear, that man drives me up the wall. He pretends to be shocked when Sean described how his ass was handed to him by Des's brother. Chris Harrison, just stop. Go away. Stop talking. Better yet, next time tell Sean that Tierra is a crazy psycho bitch BEFORE the end of the season. We know you're all-knowing, so spare us the trouble. OH WAIT. That would avoid drama.
Chris Harrison's best line to date: On Des's brother not liking Sean: "That would make for an awkward Thanksgiving."
Why, gee thank you, Chris. What ever would we do without your incredible insight. What would this show do without you?
In other Bachelor news, we are finally down to the final three. Thank god. Although apparently, in breaking news, Sean is virgin.
Awkward silence..................................crickets chirping...........................................
Yeah that was my response. So much for the fantasy suites? I. D. K.
I'll admit, the best part of these "Bachelor viewing parties", as I like to call them, are the running commentaries provided by yours truly and by the roommates. K can't stand the show, but Mads tolerates it. We basically yell at the TV a lot:
"Lindsay? 80's makeup and slutty dress..............And you showed up in a WEDDING DRESS"
"AshLee, you have no personality."
"Catherine, we know you're bawling your eyes out because your BFF Leslie got booted off. But this is not America's Next Top Best Friend."
"Tierra.................................W. T. F."
"Selma.....definitely had a nose job." (see below.)
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