light bulbs on lunch break: bulletin board

So I definitely came up with "light bulbs on lunch break" in a dream I had a few days ago. Weird, huh? Anyways, this blog segment comes to you direct from my office space, complete with a plethora of colored flags (see top of computer) and a bulletin board that becomes a more jumbled melange each day. Let's examine its contents, shall we? If you can't find what object I'm talking about at first glance, pretend it's a game of Where's Waldo or I SPY. Just keep looking, you'll find it eventually.

• Downton Abbey bookmark- bloody brilliant show, but I haven't watched any of Season 3 yet 
• One of the first pictures I took of La Tour Eiffel when I arrived in Paris to study abroad
• Fashionable shades of lipstick, from the 50s to the present
• Godiva bag - I get their free-truffle-once-a-month membership. Divine.
• Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella coming back to Broadway, starring the cutesie girl who won Grease: You're The One That I Want!, a reality show I definitely watched.
• Different media spawned by Jane Austen novels
• Is Paris worth a mass? First of all, the title is a play on words. Henry IV said that when he was going to convert to Catholicism in the late 16th century, but here, the phrase refers to the fluctuating standard for a kilogram that resides in Paris.
• New bells that don't sound awfully off-pitch arrive at Notre-Dame de Paris, you know, that cathedral where the Hunchback lives?
• A Christmas card with the Disney villain Maleficent, from my girls Mel and Mercedes.
• My results from the Myers-Briggs test. 33% extravert, who woulda known?
• My mother's business card
• My business card
• The little-known fact that the White House was referred to as the "Executive Mansion" until 1901, when "White House" began the new trend.
• The "Impressionism, Fashion, and Modernity" exhibition that's coming to the MET.
• Hiding behind Jane Austen's face is a picture of the Tirpitz, Hitler's last battleship. I worked on The Hunt for Hitler's Warship for a long time. I grew quite attached to that ship. (*Blogger's note: there is a difference between a battleship and a battle cruiser. Battleships are more heavily armed and are capable of faster speed.)
• Ticket stub from the Catacombs in Paris. So. Creepily. Cool.

spotlight: New York Times

The New York Times - my preferred method of finding out what's going on in the world. My apartment complex gets a fresh pressed copy of the New York Times every Sunday, which means the second I wake up, scratch that, the second I finish my coffee, I am out the door and heading towards the building's exit, just waiting to see the perfectly wrapped parcel in blue plastic just awaiting my arrival.

It sounds a bit exaggerated, but this is a part of my Sunday ritual. Breakfast. Coffee. Read the New York Times. From cover to cover? Not exactly. I must admit I skim a few sections. After all, the Business section can be a snooze fest. Yet, I find myself learning about world affairs, politics, style, books, economics, the works. I'm going to compress it all into a snug little nutshell, just for y'all.

Today's basics in the form of an abridged version by yours truly:

 

Oscar buzz (Jessica or Jennifer?!?!)

 

Reducing the national debt (when pigs fly)

 

The soap opera (including blackmail, stealing documents, sex) that is the Vatican

 

Buddhists restoring damage done (done by mean Chinese Communists) to Tibetan murals

 

Watch out for North Korea and Russia (NUKES!!!!)

 

French taxes are obscenely high (Breaking News: Gerard Depardieu becomes Russian citizen...wtf)

 

Lather, rinse, repeat................guns, guns, REPEAT
 

Nascar wreck and yet another token picture of Danica Patrick

 

New French exhibition at the MET! (Lindsey = most excited person on planet)

 

 

 

Menswear for women...(gives a whole new meaning to 'boyfriend' style)

 

Book Review...'nuf said

 

Gluten-free diets (but I. LOVE. CARBS.)

Hiring an exceptional nanny (yes, because we can all afford such luxuries, of course)

 

Atypical engagement rings (No, I don't want a black stone, fool. Holla atchya traditional)

 

Rich people marrying other rich people
(Van Der [+ insert any surname])

 

Healthcare (no idea where to even START commenting on this one)
 

Weather (D.C. is built on a swamp, so we're always f*****, no matter what season)
 

Microcars (and mini cars, which are taking Europe by storm)

(all via)
 

 

 

spotlight: the bachelor

Cue cheesy dates. Show me the tear-jerking rose ceremonies. Describe IN GREAT DETAIL how the women feel about Sean. Zoom in on the eye rolls. Zoom in on Sean's beet-red face. Watch the jaw-dropping catfights.

"Ladies, this is the final rose tonight. Sean, when you're ready."

And the final rose goes to...........................................................................................
....
.....
......
.........
..........
............
Chris Harrison.

Wait, what?

Oh yes, the insufferable host. Yes, Chris Harrison, WE, THE VIEWERS, CAN SEE THAT THERE IS ONE ROSE LEFT. HAD YOU NOT MENTIONED THAT, HOW WOULD I HAVE GONE ON WITH MY LIFE?! I swear, that man drives me up the wall. He pretends to be shocked when Sean described how his ass was handed to him by Des's brother. Chris Harrison, just stop. Go away. Stop talking. Better yet, next time tell Sean that Tierra is a crazy psycho bitch BEFORE the end of the season. We know you're all-knowing, so spare us the trouble. OH WAIT. That would avoid drama.

Chris Harrison's best line to date: On Des's brother not liking Sean: "That would make for an awkward Thanksgiving."

Why, gee thank you, Chris. What ever would we do without your incredible insight. What would this show do without you?
In other Bachelor news, we are finally down to the final three. Thank god. Although apparently, in breaking news, Sean is virgin.

Awkward silence..................................crickets chirping...........................................

Yeah that was my response. So much for the fantasy suites? I. D. K.
I'll admit, the best part of these "Bachelor viewing parties", as I like to call them, are the running commentaries provided by yours truly and by the roommates. K can't stand the show, but Mads tolerates it. We basically yell at the TV a lot:

"Lindsay? 80's makeup and slutty dress..............And you showed up in a WEDDING DRESS"
"AshLee, you have no personality."
"Catherine, we know you're bawling your eyes out because your BFF Leslie got booted off. But this is not America's Next Top Best Friend."

"Tierra.................................W. T. F."




"Selma.....definitely had a nose job." (see below.)

Romantic vs. romantic



Yes, there's a difference. If you don't know the difference, please use a search engine (that is probably available at your fingertips thanks to smartphones) and look up "Romanticism." It's a movement. In history (and art history). The basics? Think "romantic" but overly dramatized and exaggerated.

You don't want to be a Romantic with a capital R. Why? You'll be let down. Why? Because your life is not a soap opera. It's not. General Hospital and Dallas are perfect due to this fact. Ladies, we revel in it. We love the drama, it puts us on the edge of our seats. We're nailbiters, chocolate-gobblers, and we are addicted to Romance. Not just romance. We fall under the spell of tearjerkers.

Don't get me wrong, there are aspects of these shows (albeit few) that are legit. But the intensity and the passion of those relationships, the rollercoaster ride of ups and downs, and the emotional makeups and breakups are NOT healthy and not real life. So be happy with happiness and humor; create your own happy ending, but don't be a drama queen or your happy ending will be ephemeral instead of infinite.

The book picture below is an excellent example of how to find Mr. Right with the help of Jane Austen heroines and without the capital R. On a side note, I work with the author, Elizabeth Kantor, and she is positively brilliant!

 

 

spotlight: game of thrones

Ahh, but the question remains, the book series or the HBO series?


Answer. Daily Double. Both.

I began reading the first GoT book in the series after having purchased it for a whopping two dollars and ninety-nine cents at my go-to bookstore back in Sarasota. The Goodwill Bookstore. I must write a post on that later...

So this book, if you know nothing of it already, follows the saga of numerous royal families in a made-up world. Think Lord of the Rings mixed with other sci fi/mystical works, but BETTER.

Read Book One, and you will:

a) find a fondness for Tyrion Lannister, a dwarf and yet also somewhat a libertine
b) appreciate warm weather; winter is coming will give you the willies
c) despise the creepy incestuous relations of the Lannisters; crazy blondes everywhere
d) fist pump for Danaerys; talk about girl power!
e) want a direwolf as a pet ... so badly

Watch the first HBO season, and you will:

a) realize it should be completely titled as: A Game of Thrones: Blood and Porn
b) hopefully appreciate Sean Bean (a.k.a. Boromir in LOTR) as Ned Stark
c) ogle Jon Snow, the bastard son of Ned
d) despise the bitchy Sansa (who reminds me of an entitled sorority girl), daughter of Ned
e) catch yourself saying "Seven Hells!!!!" instead of your typically used expletives.

my date with the bachelor

No, not Sean. A different one. Not a self-proclaimed bachelor by any means, but a man leaps and bounds better than anyone on reality tv ... or else where; nevertheless, the weekend trip I took was akin to a date on The Bachelor.

1) To pick me up at the train station, he:
parks the car
walks to meet me
light rain falling
greets me briefly
gives me a big hug
goes in for The. First. Kiss.

2) To take me back to where he was staying:
holds my hand
light rain still falling
talks about how nervous he was
leads me to the car
opens the door for me
B. M. W.

3) To set the mood in the car:
turns it on from ten feet away
seat warmers. activated.
coffeehouse station
holds my hand the entire time

4) To adequately show the accommodations:
has a view from the top of a hill
twinkling lights dot the house like frosting on a cake
carries my bag
opens the door

5) To have everything ready:
ambient lighting
serene atmosphere
coffeehouse station
drinks at the ready
an infinite smile


If you could replay the thoughts that traversed my mind, you could have played the Bachelor drinking game, you know, the one where you say "down the hatchet" when you hear the girls' words of:

a) I'm falling for him
b) I feel like we really have a connection
c) He could be the one
d) all of the above

Except unlike the unreal reality tv aspects that comfortably coax said feelings from these girls, mine were, and still are, true.

preface

I guess they call it a preface because it precedes the table of contents, individual chapters, note about the author, acknowledgments, notes, and index. I kept up with a blog when I studied abroad in Paris. That was two years ago. Since then, I've graduated, had three jobs (I'm currently on #3), lived in five states, had three boyfriends, had ups, downs, and all-arounds, and I still don't know what I do "when I grow up." I'll fill out the "About Me" tab (which I have yet to put up), and then I'm not really sure how things will progress from there. My fab office-mate asked me what this blog was going to entail, and I replied somewhere along the lines of "uh, idk...lifestyle?" What does that even mean anyways? I ask you.

There may be tidbits of fashion although I usually forget to snap photos of my office apparel that I so carefully select from my closet every day.
 There may be a tablespoon of historical geekery thrown in, well, actually, there may be a few pounds of it, depending on the day.
There will most definitely be commentaries on various media-- we're talking movies (old and new), TV shows (ridiculous and/or really engaging), and music.
There will be some DC life stories although, to be honest, I usually stick to the routine of going to work, coming home from work, working out, working on dinner, and then working on trying to calm my brain down in order to fall asleep.
There will be relationship advice........oh wait, that's pure nonsense, but I may throw in my two cents on love life trifles every once in awhile.
There will be witty banter...my roommates and I have a lot of nonsensical as well as intelligent conversations. I will tell you all about them, "you" being my readers if I have any. I guess we'll see about that!
There may be talk of food. Despite the fact I'm a recent grad with a "moderate" salary, and I don't get to eat fancy food much, I still think about food a lot. Sometimes the roomies and I cook/bake...meaning I watch them cook/bake, and then I hope for a sympathy serving. I'm a heat-up-decently-healthy-frozen-food kinda girl.
Without a doubt, there will be much talk of books. As an employee of a book publishing company, books are life. There is no life without books. Even if I didn't work with books every day, I'd still love books. So stop playing "Angry Birds" and go read.

Basically, as Forrest Gump would say, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." That might have to be my blog's mantra.